Goodbye, hoops

Source: www.jeffpearlman.com --- Thursday, November 30, 2017
Less than a month after retiring from youth Baseball at the end of the Dodgers’ season, Emmett Pearlman, 11-year-old shooting guard, shocked the Southern California sports world by announcing his unexpected departure from organized basketball. Pearlman recently signed as a free agent with “Michigan” of his local rec league, but, according to sources, grew disenchanted and somewhat despondent after just two practices. The coach, a salaried millennial named Matt with no ties to any of the players, seemed oddly disinterested in the members of the team. He only asked their names once, routinely stared at his phone during practices and had the children run a nonstop series of drills that incorporated 0.00 percent joy, fun or enthusiasm. Pearlman’s mother, Catherine, sat in the bleachers for Michigan’s first practice, returned home and said, glumly, “That was not even a little enjoyable.” Pearlman’s father, Jeff, attended the second practice, returned home and said, “There is nothing good about that.” He was particularly intrigued by the coach’s method of punishing players for missed shots with push-ups and wind sprints. Pearlman, who has no hopes or desires of playing high school, college or professional basketball, already devotes three days per week to his school’s distance running program. He signed up for basketball because he likes the fast-paced nature of the game, as well as having fun. His parents have said, from the beginnin ...

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